An Unexpected Miracle

In May of 2022 we lost our Gideon. I had emergency surgery due to an ectopic pregnancy. I had been bleeding internally for 2 weeks. For anyone who isn't sure, internal bleeding usually becomes fatal within hours. Looking back,  I know the moment my fallopian tube started bursting, 13 days before my surgery. By day 13 I should've been in multiple organ failure. It's a miracle that my organs work, not even considering the fact that I'm still very much alive and healthy. In the surgery, I lost my last fallopian tube, as well as the son I thought was an answer to God's promise He had given me years earlier. 

In April 2023, God spoke through someone and said, "I will replace what was taken away." My immediate thought was my fallopian tubes amongst some other health issues I was struggling with. While he has healed the majority of those other issues and I believe He will replace my fallopian tubes, His plan is always better and far more grander than ours. 

In April 2024, I got a call about a little man who needed a safe home. To understand that next part, you need to know Gideon John's name meaning. Gideon is in reference to a warrior of God, who despite the odds, was used of God mightily to save His people. John means, "God is kind." During the decision making process about little man, I felt a deep impression to look up the meaning of His name. The first name means "God appointed," and the second means "Warrior of God" and is an Irish derivative of John. 

While no one will ever "replace" Gideon John. One day he and I will walk the streets of gold together. However, here on earth, God turned ashes into beauty. Gideon's earthly body is in a small urn, the size that no one should ever have to hold, but we live on a world broken by sin. While I walk this earth, waiting for a heavenly time, God has put a little hand in mine. He took a story of brokenness, of utter pain, and gave me a beautiful son. My little man that is here on this earth is nothing short of being a little "me." It's obvious from his skin tone that he wasn't born from my womb, but if you hear his voice, his tone, see the way he looks at people when they're doing something he doesn't understand, you'd shake your head in surprise at how much he acts like me. He is my little miracle. While I still fully expect that God will replace my fallopian tubes and give me a bio child, He went above and beyond what I could've ever asked. I'm in awe, everyday, of the miracle walking beside me.